best friends forever my ass.

"i've been a walking heartache, i've made a mess of me. the person that i've been lately.. ain't who i wanna be" that fucking line. gets me everytime. even thinking it, typing it, THINKING OF TYPING IT... drops my stomach instantly and the tears start to role.
i hate having emotions. the kids in my schools used to call me the girl with no emotions..and i LIKED that. i liked being known for being unbreakable. it made me feel strong. right now im feeling weak and breakable. im fragile and for so long ive been unshatterable that people dont realize im so vulnerable right now. of COURSE they wouldnt know because half the people i know aren't on adderall.... FUCK i dont even know how to spell that. oh well... i dONT really give a fuck.
im so stressed.
i just want to go into a comma for a while. is that bad?

shyt.

everyone is slowly but surely pissing me off. and i mean EVERYONE. what's wrong with me?

i can't find a SINGLE person who isn't pissing me off right now. i'm honestly done. with everyone.
i would ask to switch schools.. but i think continents is a more suitable option.

i started medicine.. and i hate it. yeah it makes me more attentive but it makes me care. and im so used to not caring that i cant handle all this fucking emotion.

i used to not care about anything...and it was nice. it made me feel safe... but now i feel vulnerable and scared. and guess what.. i have no one to talk to about it.. because EVERYONE'S FUCKING ANNOYING AS SHIT.

i used to be the person who never complained...and i wanna get back to that.. but i need someone to vent to. anyone out there? i need a stranger who doesnt give a fuck.